Friday, April 15, 2011

Blogging at 200 miles an Hour From My iPhone!

Well this should be interesting. As the title states I am blogging on my iPhone! I promise that this entire blog was written and uploaded from my phone. Not only that but it was done while traveling over 200 miles an hour on Korea's own KTX bullet train.

The reason for my iPhone blog is simple; I was dead set on writing something while I traveled cross-country but my laptop battery was dead set on dying. Sitting in utter silence, in the first class cabin, all by my lonesome, I spoke allowed in frustration "like I am going to blog on my phone!" To my surprise someone answered back "just do it, it's not like you have much else to occupy your time". I was even more surprised when the person answering turned a out to be me. So here I am writing an honest blog with my thumbs.

"So why is he on the KTX?" some of you may be thinking "what does he mean 'cross-country?'" Well friend I am glad you asked. You see a few blogs ago I mentioned that a friend of mine from yesteryear came up from his humble teaching assignment in South South Korea to visit yours truly. So naturally I had to reciprocate and allow him to put me up for a few days. So here is where you find me; iPhone blogging my way to the seascape that is Mokpo, South Korean. What adventures await me? What treasures are there to be had? Most likely a fish smell and salt water but I am crossing my fingers. Mokpo will be quite a change from my usual fast paced city life if my friend is to be believed. According to him and some lazy googling, Mokpo is a rural fishing village with a modest population and demographic. Still I am eager to see yet another part of the world.

Outside my KTX Window
Today I was lucky enough to be released from captivity (school) early for good behavior (I asked), so that I may get an early start on the journey south. It is a about 4 hours by bus and being the impatient/ luxurious individual that I am, I opted to take the KTX and shorten the journey to 2 hours. When I got there the next train only had first-class seating left so I was forced to upgrade, for a staggering 7 dollars more. I really did not care because my taxi ride from school had been gratis. Which one would expect when one's taxi driver scrapes the guard-railing on your side while he dozes off!  So I was thankful for life and feeling like I deserved a little comfort.

Gosh typing on the iPhone is much easier than I thought it would be, except the stupid auto-correct keeps slowing me down. At one point it had me saying that I was traveling 200 miles an hour on a "lesbian train". I wonder what that would look like? Speeding through Asia sitting in between Jodi Foster and Ellen Degeneres while Rosie O'Donell served me coffee? Could be fun, but not as fun as I know Mokpo is going to be. Curse you auto-correct! Every time I type 'Mokpo' I get 'bimbo'. I hope this isn't a sign of what my trip holds for me.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Thing Koreans Say to me (Part 3)

Part three in my wildly successful and nationally syndicated blog about my day-to-day discussions with people in Korea! These are all actual conversations I have been apart of in Korea and they are usually much longer but these would be the best parts of them. Enjoy!

DRUNK KOREAN: Are we friends?
ME: Sure
KOREAN: We will always fly so time is forever
ME: Yup

ME: (Showing pic of Obama) Who is this?
STUDENTS: OBAMA!
ME: What is his job?
STUDENT: Obama is gangsters brothers!
ME: …

ME: This is the letter "A"
STUDENT: We are not stupid

STUDENT: Teacher must die!
ME: What?
STUDENT: Die!

DRUNK KOREAN: You Jack Black?
ME: Ha yeah ok
DRUNK KOREAN: (yelling at friend in Korean) this is Jack Black!

DRUNK KOREAN: (A man at least 50 years old says to me) 
Hey come here baby!

KOREAN: Get one tonight?
ME: One what?
KOREAN: Get a big one
ME: Big what?
KOREAN: You no understand? But you speak english!

ME: Repeat, she sold seashells by the sea shore
STUDENT: Sushi sushi sushi Buddha sushi horse
ME: (had a heart attack from laughing)

ME: Did you like the music video (referring to "Friday" by Rebecca Black)
STUDENT: African old girl so young, why?

ME: Good morning
STUDENT 1: Die day!
ME: Today is die day?
STUDENT: I die he die teacher die!
STUDENT 2: Teacher want die?

ME: (on the phone talking about paying my cell phone bill)
I would just go there but they don't have any English service
KOREAN: (a stranger who was eavesdropping)
My church have the English time, come to my church!
(gets a pen out and writes directions)

KOREAN STUDENT: Monkey is kiss! Monkey is kiss!