Health and Bloody Eyes

Until my last post, it had been almost four months since I had put up anything. I love to write and I love to talk, but the past few months have found me doing more of the latter. So I am attempting to revive my writing. I have a lot of stories and happenings to relate so I should get back on the wagon. The writing wagon.

So about a month ago me and a couple of my friends decided to have ourselves a little weight-loss competition, with incentives. Monetary incentives! Now at the start I was thinking to myself “this will be a piece of cake” and then I would go eat some cake and worry about weight later. About two weeks ago a Korean friend made this not so subtle comment “you know you are very handsome, but it is hiding in your fat”. You can teach english but tact is something else altogether. That evening I gave my self a look in the mirror, something I do every-time I take a shower (the next post will explain this comment) and decided that holy crap I am a fatty. I was looking ok about a year ok and fantastic two years ago – see picture progression – and now I am looking like someone who has never passed up a buffet (cause I haven't, duh).

Top left to right starting at the top: November 2006, February 2008, November 2008
Bottom left to right: February 2009, November 2010

Day one: This inspired/motivated/guilted me into embarking on the most rigorous diet and exercise plan I have ever seen. I was proud of myself for putting it together and determined to make it work, and I still am.

Day two: I was dieing on day two, DAY TWO! or at least that is what my body said to me. Literally, my body said this to me. Also I felt like a child with a pitchfork was inside my head stabbing everything he could find.

Day three: On the third day, I woke up and swung my legs off the bed, stood up, realized that my entire body from the waist down was in rigor mortis and proceeded to fall like a paraplegic into my Japanese sliding door knocking it down and ending up in a disgusting pile on the floor.

Day four: Or as some of us say, yesterday, feeling better and accomplished, because I was already down a kilo and a half (3lbs), I was sitting at my desk at work. A student came in and said “Teacher, eye sick! Eye 폭발(explode)!” Then she ran out of the room crying. So I went and looked in the mirror, low and behold, my eyes, yes both, had pretty much exploded. It didn't really hurt, although I had a splitting headache and my vision in one eye was a little blurry, so last night I went to the optometrist. He informed me that I shouldn't be alarmed and asked me If I had been vomiting or attacked. Of course, neither of these things had happened. He asked if I had made any recent changes in my life. I told him I was now a Buddhist. Not really. I explained my diet exercise routine. He told me that the stress of my new life had caused my eye to pop. Then I explained it was both eyes. This surprised him but he told me to take it easy and that yes, a diet is good.

Day five: My eyes are bloody, my legs don't work properly, and I am still fat. 

Gross, just gross...